It's just one of those days...

Slowly... but surely

So my days haven't exactly been easy lately.  I am tired. I'm not sure where I'm going with anything.. not even this post.  I just do what I can to get through my day sometimes a little less.  My spoons are running on an all time low recently.  I think its time to go back to the Dr but I'd decided about a month ago I was done with Drs and was giving myself a long break....so I'm gonna tough it out a little longer.  Everyone of us needs those few weeks of no drs, no exams, no medication changes...

Well I haven't updated my results from the last appointment and I guess that's one of the major reasons I've had it with Drs. So here goes.... I have a bulging disc in my neck and cervical spine stenosis.  Apparently my neck is much older than the rest of my body and my discs are obstructing the nerve canal and in turn the nerves that dictate my arms and upper body.  As per my neurologist, at this point surgery is not needed (because there's not much they can do) this illness is apparently degenerative so I don't expect to get better. The only think he can do is control the inflammation and pain--obviously through medication.  I've been taking some pain medication but I refuse to depend on it. Therapy is an option but its not a resolution so at this point I've decide to wait on it.

So for now, I'll just take one day at a time...

New Year affirmations NOT resolutions.

I don't believe in New Year resolutions but I do however believe in New Year Affirmations! New Year = New Attitude!

Use your thoughts to overcome this constant struggle and succeed with dignity. Talk is cheap. Thoughts require no cost. However, both have great power.

So TODAY (and everyday) think and speak:
Today, I WILL feel better.
Today, my body will NOT dominate my soul
Today, I have strength.

Although I have shed many tears, I KNOW I am strong!
Today, I will not allow my pain and fatigue to violate my spirit.

TODAY, I WILL ENJOY MY LIFE!!

Fibro ♥ Mireya

My heart and soul...

Wow I cant believe its been almost a month since I've been on here.  I think that's because I've had the hardest two weeks I can remember (physically). This weekend was definitely the worst by far. I got to a point where all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry myself unconscious. I thought about how ugly the rest of my life was gonna be, how much I hated my body right now and how much I wanted this to be a bad dream... But after analyzing everything that's happened this last week, I came to one conclusion.  I am beyond blessed.  I realized this weekend that I have an amazing support system. My family is so supportive. And my friends pray with me, for me and stand by me.  But most of all I have my son.  There are 20 families missing their children right now. They cant see them, hear them, hold them, love them, care for them, or tell them how much they are loved.  Thankfully, I have mine. And he is all I need to complete my life regardless of how much my body betrays me. I cant thank God enough for allowing me to live my life with him and I could never explain to anyone how much I love him but I can show my son everyday that I love him and that every sacrifice that I make is for him and so well worth it.  This weekend we told him we love him so much more than we'd ever said, I think. I've made myself sick thinking of those poor families that I have no words for.  How do you console someone that has lost a part of them... and in some cases, themselves completely?  I just pray that they will find some peace...

RIP Sandy Hook victims 12.14.12

30 minute morning

So after a fatigue filled day yesterday, I woke up this morning with less energy (equivalent to none) and wondered what the fastest and easiest way would be to get ready for work.  I have long hair and its pretty damn stubborn. So needless to say, in my eyes--that of a Fibro Fighter-- I had a difficult morning ahead of me. Turns out I was ready in 30 minutes... including my breaks and all. So I thought to myself 'why not share your findings of an easy morning with all Fibromites?'  So here is the fastest way to get ready (for me) in the mornings.

I have, like I said before, long, unruly hair that has its good days and bad days like everything else we experience with this wonderful illness.  My go-to quick fix for this is believe it or not HOT ROLLERS!  Everyone loves a cute wave in long tresses... but I don't have the time, energy or muscle strength in my arms to do it with a curling iron or flat iron... and I've never actually tried the wand but to me seems pretty much as effective as a curling iron.  I tend to wash my hair at night, since I zumba in the evening, and let it air dry through out the night--this also helps avoid heat damage from the blow dryer.  I plug in my hot rollers-- which were pretty inexpensive but well worth the investment--and let them heat up for about ten minutes.  During this ten minute lapse I do one of two things, if I was proactive enough the prior night to pick out my clothes then I get all my make up stuff ready and if not I get my clothes ready (or take a break). So my make up consists of 5 things on my lazy days: foundation, powder, a pencil liner, mascara and lipstick. Ok so now that I've gathered my materials, my rollers are ready to be put in.  I put them in slowly 'cause they're hot. At most, my hair takes about 8 (if I want a tight curl) or maybe 5-6 if I want loose curls.  While they're on and they set, I put on my foundation, pat on my powder, curl my lashes and mascara them up, add a little liner on the bottom (or top) lid, and as a cute punch I add a bright red or pink lipstick. So my rollers have been on a good 10 minutes by now so I take them off and there it is! I pump in some shine serum and I'm done.

Personally, my bangs are a bit frizzy so I go over them quickly with a straightener but most people don't have that problem so you lucky ones can skip this step.

So now I get dressed and I'm out the door.

I realized this morning that I have lots of shortcuts that I never really realized were precisely that, shortcuts to make my life as a Fibro Fighter a bit easier.  I hope this helped a bit!

If you have any questions, please let me know or feel free to comment away!

This isnt from today but more or less what the outcome is! :)

Is this it?

Today is one of those days where I hate being sick. Everything hurts and I just want to give up. I'm tired and I want a freaking break already.  I can't even breathe right. I feel like I'm missing air in my lungs. My neck is hurting so much that it's caused a headache and my jaw to tense up. I feel incredibly dizzy and nauseated. I just want to kick and scream like a baby!
Sometimes I wonder why I can't be normal....  I don't remember my life without pain.  Is this it?  Can I really deal with this forever?!? This can't possibly be the life that God wants for me!  For anyone!  I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm frustrated.  I'm in pain. I'm tired. I'm scared.

Tremors...

So I had an appointment with my rheumatologist yesterday and I suppose it went well.  Well, I guess considering that it could always be worse.  I told her about my tremors of my left had. She didn't seem very pleased. :( I have an appointment with yet another doctor, a neurologist.  I'm nervous about this one.  I am not sure why I feel anxious about it but I'm dreading it.  I think I have a fear that things can actually be worse than Fibromyalgia.  Not that fibro isn't bad or that I'd give up fight, but at least I already knew what was wrong... I had an answer. And now, I'm in limbo again.  My hand is not in the best of shape and I can tell its only getting worse.  My doctor told me that I'm going to need a needle test... apparently I was supposed to understand what that meant and have absolutely no fear of it. ha! wrong again! Just hearing the word needle makes it terrifying.  And not that I have a phobia of them but my brain doesn't fathom the idea of it in anyway be pleasurable or even at that, moderately uncomfortable.  My brain went straight into agony! Oh well... I guess its only best I face it, deal with it, and move on. Maybe another upward turn? I'll know in a week...