Slowly... but surely

So my days haven't exactly been easy lately.  I am tired. I'm not sure where I'm going with anything.. not even this post.  I just do what I can to get through my day sometimes a little less.  My spoons are running on an all time low recently.  I think its time to go back to the Dr but I'd decided about a month ago I was done with Drs and was giving myself a long break....so I'm gonna tough it out a little longer.  Everyone of us needs those few weeks of no drs, no exams, no medication changes...

Well I haven't updated my results from the last appointment and I guess that's one of the major reasons I've had it with Drs. So here goes.... I have a bulging disc in my neck and cervical spine stenosis.  Apparently my neck is much older than the rest of my body and my discs are obstructing the nerve canal and in turn the nerves that dictate my arms and upper body.  As per my neurologist, at this point surgery is not needed (because there's not much they can do) this illness is apparently degenerative so I don't expect to get better. The only think he can do is control the inflammation and pain--obviously through medication.  I've been taking some pain medication but I refuse to depend on it. Therapy is an option but its not a resolution so at this point I've decide to wait on it.

So for now, I'll just take one day at a time...

Tremors...

So I had an appointment with my rheumatologist yesterday and I suppose it went well.  Well, I guess considering that it could always be worse.  I told her about my tremors of my left had. She didn't seem very pleased. :( I have an appointment with yet another doctor, a neurologist.  I'm nervous about this one.  I am not sure why I feel anxious about it but I'm dreading it.  I think I have a fear that things can actually be worse than Fibromyalgia.  Not that fibro isn't bad or that I'd give up fight, but at least I already knew what was wrong... I had an answer. And now, I'm in limbo again.  My hand is not in the best of shape and I can tell its only getting worse.  My doctor told me that I'm going to need a needle test... apparently I was supposed to understand what that meant and have absolutely no fear of it. ha! wrong again! Just hearing the word needle makes it terrifying.  And not that I have a phobia of them but my brain doesn't fathom the idea of it in anyway be pleasurable or even at that, moderately uncomfortable.  My brain went straight into agony! Oh well... I guess its only best I face it, deal with it, and move on. Maybe another upward turn? I'll know in a week...